All of us have to deal with various forms of heartbreaks and in various qualities. I've been dealing with it since October of 2009. My workouts, my Yoga, my Team Beachbody Business has been saving me from falling into serious depression. I still feel the un scientific, inexplicable, and irrational human pains that come with being Heart Broken but I deal with them and somehow make my pains work for me instead of against me.
The only days I seem to lose this battle or at least come close to it are Sundays. Yesterday, Sunday, was a rough day for me. Sundays are typically really boring in my world because everyone else is decompressing and preparing for another full week of work. With boredom comes a wondering mind that seems to drift right into the things that pain me the most; desperately looking for logic to make me happy again all the while fully knowing that logic does not change emotion. Action changes emotion.
Sometimes there is a real disconnect between knowing and doing. I know because I've written about this disconnection in past articles. Sometimes it's far easier to fight for principal (or write about them) than to live up to them. Yours truly is guilty of not living up to the principles I write about from time to time to.
I suppose one reason I'm writing this is to let all of you know that while I write so boldly, sincerely, genuinely, passionately in my articles that I am still very much a human being who errors from time to time just like the rest of us. I don't have all the answers but even some of the answers I do have I don't always live up to. One thing I do know that's done greatly to propel me into success is that it's not possible to grow and become better without making mistakes and experiencing pains. I use that information to look for opportunity every single time I error so that none of my errors or my pains have to be in vain. The more something hurts the more motivated I am to not let it happen for nothing. (Just so you know, I may not live up to principles I write about in my articles all the time but, when I do live up to them they do indeed work. My articles are very much a reflection of how I'm achieving so much with a very definitive purpose of helping YOU achieve the things you want to achieve in your own life. I'm not just sharing to hear myself talk I want YOU to achieve to.)
Honestly I think I come across as a "cookie cutter" perfect kind of guy, that would even annoy myself, if I don't provide some balance to all of my other articles. Truth is, EVERY self made wildly successful person has known immense pain. I think it's important that all of us re affirm each others humanity once and a while and share some of that. NOT for the purpose of a pitty party; but so we can take some comfort and even celebrate that we are indeed VERY human with unlimited potential for greatness. I hope that if your heart is broken for whatever reason that you seek comfort without pitty.
Some people go the extreme opposite of self pitty and just keep telling themselves to be positive. They place all focus on attitude and loose a part of their humanity in my view. This excerpt from a book by Jeff Olson called, "The Slight Edge" is very relevant here and makes me feel sooooooo good about myself because it gives me the way to do the things I need to do in order to be successful EVEN ON THE DAYS I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE IT. I hope that after reading this small excerpt a light bulb turns on for you in a big way...
"Focusing on attitudes isn't any more effective than focusing on actions, because, attitudes are fickle. Your emotions change. You can't dictate how you feel. No matter how much you may tell yourself to feel positive about this how to or that how to, what if you just don't? Today you're excited about getting fit. You feel like doing your twenty minutes on the treadmill. Great! But what if tomorrow you just don't feel like doing it? To find the path to success, you have to back up one more step. It's the understanding behind the attitudes that are behind the actions. It's the philosophy. That's the secret ingredient. Your philosophy is what you know, how you hold it, and how it affects what you do. Yes, you have to know the winning how to actions, and you have to possess the winning attitudes, but what generates all that and keeps it all in place is your philosophy. Your philosophy CREATES your attitude, your actions, your results, which CREATES your life." - Jeff Olson
THAT is some of the best enlightenment I've ever heard or read in my life. I would even say it's liberating like.
There are so many different forms and qualities of heart break it's ridiculous. A year and three months ago I almost lost my father. I was heart broken til he was alright again but then I was heart broken to learn he will have to be on oxygen 24 /7 for the rest of his life. He was once a strong man capable of many things and now he isn't capable of walking for more than ten seconds without being out of breath while toting his oxygen tank with him everywhere he gos. I'm dealing with seeing my dad like that MUCH better now. Shakeology has helped him a lot he didn't even get sick this year with the change of seasons making it the first time in over a decade he hasnt gotten sick. Thank god for Shakeology! With only 30% of his lungs still functional just one bad cold or flu could kill him. Thankfully getting him to drink Shakeology every day is easy because he loves the way it tastes.
Today the bulk of my heart break comes from a breakup with a girl from last October. I think most breakups are largely more felt on one side than the other. On this break up it was felt on my side. Two and a half years of unmatched compatibility, understanding, sharing, being there for each other, most of the time bliss, free of all jealousy and insecurities that seem to plague most relationships etc. Never so much as a serious fight which probably just underscores a problem with passion maybe? Who knows. Two individually awesome people whos relationship just ran its course. It was great while it lasted but it ran it's course and that is totally fine. It may not feel fine but it really is fine.
Logic will never get me to where I want to be but action will. It already is. Instead of wallowing in self pitty and looking for others to join me in a pitty party I decided to do another round of P90X by the books for the first time in over two years and I took my Team Beachbody Business to the next level. I managed to increase my earnings by 81% this year in THIS economy. As a Team Beachbody coach my earnings are a direct reflection of how many people I'm helping live healthier lives. I've NEVER made money in a more ethical way in my entire life.
At my last job I was sitting at a desk working for a web hosting company making money probably by facilitating the rotting away of a million bodies across America. Making money to help people get healthier is MUCH more gratifying!
I get phone calls and emails nearly every day from people with a renewed smile on their face thanking me for introducing them to the products of team beachbody that is drastically changing their lives. They share how much better they feel, the progress they are making, their happier healthier family, the sadness that is going away in their lives and whatever else they are excited to tell me about. I really don't think it's possible to fall into depression even over a heart breaking break up when you have that kind of positive encouragement coming from so many people I'm helping to make a real difference in the lives of.
The funny irony is that many of my coaches and customers probably don't realize how much they are motivating me and cheering me up. They probably think they are only on the receiving end. That is simply not true! If you're one of the many I've helped who happens to be reading this article I sincerely want you to feel good about yourself not only for changing your own life but also for helping another human being feel good about his life. Don't stop sharing your successes with me! When you share your stories they really do make a difference in the lives of others who desire that kind of motivation such as yours truly :-) The most meaningful exchanges are two way exchanges Especially motivational ones!
The next time you try to use logic to feel better about a painful situation stop thinking, find what you're truly passionate about and act on it everyday! You will feel better than trying to find logic in it all. For me my passion is my workouts and my Team Beachbody Business. You're welcomed to join me I'd be honored. And by all means if you want to share anything with me on a Sunday PLEASE do ;)
Tom
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